The Ego and the False Self

Sometimes life hurts, or to be more accurate – in life, you can easily get hurt.

But what part of you is it that gets hurt?

• is it your body – sometimes
• is it your soul – not really
• is it your mind – to a degree
• Is it your ego – ALWAYS!!




You can’t say “someone hurt me” without recognizing that the deepest part of that pain came from the inability to accept the actions of another, the viewpoint of another, the distortions of another.   To accept what is, does not mean to agree with or to condone, it means this

• to step away from denial
• to walk out of resistance

Not only is it true that what you resist will persist, but also, what you resist will become entangled with you for life or until you consciously disentangle by releasing the resistance and accompanying pain.




The above two, seemingly simple acts of stepping out of denial and resistance, align you to your flow once again.  They recentre you into your power and prepare you to become more neutral, less emotionally charged and more capable of finally transmuting the pain that you may have experienced.  That process of transmutation is also known as alchemy.  It’s when you turn darkness to light, and this is what you do when you release the ego from its stronghold and reconnect to what lies beneath it – your truth and therefore, your brilliant, magnificent, infinite light.




This is not to dismiss pain at any other level, but rather to draw focus to the deepest part of the pain and the mechanism that causes the pain to become embedded into you for years, or even, for lifetimes.  For it is the ego that causes you the most pain, always self-inflicted but hardly ever noticed.  The ego is masterful at distraction, that’s how its gotten away with avoiding your detection.  It keeps blaming someone else and setting up a defense towards being blamed.  This is merely an attempt to deflect responsibility which leads to power.  The ego won’t tell you that though, it will confuse blame for responsibility and create a total block towards your connection to the possibility of blame, thus blocking you from you power and locking you into a self-perpetuating, painful cycle, of self-sabotage and unconscious self-inflicted injury.

The ego is totally unconscious, what it does and how it operates evades the conscious mind, thus, even to the most discerning seeker, they can remain oblivious to the many ploys of the ego.


the ego




The ego is unconscious, it is everything you are not, ie. it is your untruth, your unhealed self, your pain, your trauma, your illusions, your not-good-enough, your defensiveness, your mistrust, your betrayals, your heart breaks, your judgements, your woundedness and most especially it is your wounded inner child. Just think of everything that is opposite of your truth as an infinite being of wisdom, unconditional love, acceptance and peace, that is the egoic self.

The ego therefore is not to be confused with arrogance, it is the “unself” or “the lie”, the false persona.




It can be scary to dismantle the false self, but when you do, you go into the core of your own inner darkness to find what is truly, truly there.  You will navigate first through the illusions (that’s painful), then you will navigate through the unknown (that’s scary), and finally, you will enter the supreme stillness of your all-knowing-all-loving, infinite self, (that’s home).




No matter what you uncover in that deep dark place, it will lead you to your light.  The brightest truth of you, is there, buried beneath the debris of the false self.  It is not because the true self cannot stand up beneath the weight of that debris, it can.  It is that you cannot see it, feel it, or connect to it until you dare to go through the darkness and rediscover your essence.




We were born to this world to imprint to a false persona, we did this as part of a project that would bring us on a mission from across the Universe, to this one central arena called Earth, where we would go into that darkness for one reason:  to dismantle it.




We don’t! We only dismantle our own inner darkness. We do this day by day, moment by moment, when we allow ourselves authenticity and realness, honesty and acknowledgement, connection to the moment and connection to ourselves. When we consciously leave the illusion, we become the light and that light liberates all in its presence. That’s why we came, that’s why we said yes to such a seemingly crazy mission.




Other than the brick-by-brick approach as outlined above, there is something more powerful and effective and that is something that takes minutes to do but years to get to the point of readiness to do it. That is to claim the true self. You will have glimpses of the true self through the dismantling process, thus bringing it into your view. However, there is a moment – a leap of faith – wherein you step fully into the divine power of the true self and allow it to step into your body field and shine as the light of you, through you. When this happens, the true self diffuses the false self. It was always able to do that but never ever without your permission and invitation. You are the one who makes it possible for the true self to step back into the body (embodiment) and reclaim its physical expression that has been hijacked by a false-self-persona that is a composite of all the collective programmes, illusions, untruths, and trauma’s. The true self melts it all in an instant.






So, the next time you catch your ego in the throes of causing you pain, do your best to see your ego as the innocent but wounded child, caught up in a story of pain and torment that has little to do with the core essence of you.  The core of you is beautiful, no matter how overgrown it is with the wounds of the ego, it is there – perfect, pristine, and whole – awaiting your return to it. It is not so much you who is seeking it, but rather, it who is seeking you. The true self, in a sense, has been disembodied and seeks unification with it’s physical form (your body) in order to once again reside in wholeness and in a state of being that is harmonious, unified and in true sacred, and divine union.



Lots of Love,



P.S. Claim your coupon for this 6-week course in forgiveness and reclaiming your innocence: Beyond Forgiveness

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