HEALING THE SAME WOUNDS:

why the old patterns keep resurfacing

Repeating the Same Patterns

It’s enough to bring you to your knees in frustration, isn’t it? When the same old wound comes back around – again. That wound you’ve cried over, spent countless hours, tears, and finances trying to understand, resolve, or get away from. You’ve saged it away, prayed it away, affirmed its absence—and just when you thought it was done… boom. It’s back. That same pattern. That same pain.

You throw your hands up and say, “Universe, come on. Be reasonable. I’ve already healed this—why is it here again?”

When something outside of us fails and we are let down in the process, we don’t question the method. We question ourselves. I’m not good at healing. I didn’t do it properly. I must’ve got it wrong.

But the truth is, you can’t find healing inside the false matrix by using the methods of the false matrix. It’s like using hair dye to return to your natural colour—you’ll only get a look-alike instead of the real deal. A lot of the healing methods we’ve used in the past, looked like healing, sounded like healing, but were fakes posing as an authentic experience because how could they not, the very nature of hair dye is to cover up your natural colour. The very job of the false matrix is to perpetuate the false matrix, and that includes creating a healing paradigm to mimic what healing looks like so that you can imagine you’re healing while staying in the same frequency.

Because how could they be anything else? The very job of hair dye is to cover what’s real. The job of the false matrix is to perpetuate itself—even through healing.

That’s why it created a healing paradigm that mimics transformation just enough to keep you circling in the same frequency.

We need a new paradigm of healing but before we can have that, we need to see the old paradigm more clearly. When you see why you weren’t transcending the holding patterns of pain that you so desperately wanted to heal, you’re going to know what to do differently the next time. Sometimes you need to see what doesn’t work so that you understand how not to do it.

Here’s why you don’t heal in two simple explanations, and how to know which one applies to you, when.

Why you’re not healing, reason number one – you’re going deeper:

Something happened in your life that allowed you to meet yourself more fully, you became more real and more authentic with yourself and that takes courage. Often, it’s the humbling lessons delivered by the dark night of the soul that delivers the depth of authenticity that I’m talking about. It’s what happens when you have nowhere to run and hide, and you finally confront what you feel. It’s kind of like life cracked you open and no amount of talking, thinking and mental gymnastics will allow you an escape route from the pain – you just had to face it and feel it. Those are the moments where transcendence becomes possible and a depth of connection to self is established. When this happens, you will repeat the same things you once dealt with … at a deeper level, because you have met yourself at a deeper level.

You are only capable of meeting your pain to the extent that you’ve met yourself. When you meet yourself at a deeper level, you meet your pain and then, your healing, at a deeper level. Pain is what introduces you to healing – if it weren’t pain, you’d never know healing. Don’t imagine that accessing a deeper level of pain is a bad thing, it offers a depth of healing that you can’t quite imagine, until you get there. And that’s what this is all about, meeting yourself at a level of wholeness that you can’t even contemplate. Transcending the mental limitation and entering the energetic expansiveness of who you really are.

How do you know if reason number 1 applies to you?

You know that this applies to you if what you’re dealing with is significantly easier than the previous times you’ve dealt with it, and it’s coming to you in a form that requires you to see a deeper level of the same issue.

Why you’re not healing, reason number two – healing in the head:

Plain and simple, you’ve been stuck in the head – what I call, being spiritual-in-the-head. This is when you place all your resources on healing something at the linear level of thought, instead of the experiential level of energy which is where the pain actually exists. Don’t beat yourself up—we’ve all done it. We’ve all tried to think our way out of pain. But thinking isn’t healing. It’s just more of the false matrix. The false matrix is a mental realm. It makes up a sliver of your multidimensional self. For the sake of simplicity let’s say that it contains only 1% of you. The truth is, it contains less, but let’s call it an even 1% just for the sake of elucidation. We were born into that 1%, conditioned to venerate the mind and dismiss the 99% of us that lives in the energy body. Through meticulous programming we become conditioned by the false matrix to use thought as our primary means of interacting with ourselves and reality. We try to use thought to dominate pain, as if we could mantra our pain into submission or affirm it into silence. But that’s not healing. That’s mental bypassing. It’s like putting fresh wallpaper on a prison wall and calling it freedom.

You say, “Look at my healing! I’ve got these affirmations, these mantras, these beautiful new beliefs!” But all you’ve done is redecorate the pain. You’ve repackaged it. And repackaging is not the same as releasing.

And then—of course—you’re shocked and devastated when the pattern returns.

How do you know if reason number 2 applies to you?

Because dealing with this is getting worse, bigger, more chaotic, and more painful each time. That tells you that you’re not coming to a deeper level, you’re facing the same thing in an amplified form. The amplification is happening because the initial pain is not being dealt with at the root of the pain, ie you’ve been spiritual in the head, where resolution can’t happen.

The invitation to see it differently

Let’s bring it into the light.
You’re not stuck. You’re not broken. You’re not failing.
You’re either going deeper…
or you’re being invited to truly let go of healing as a mental exercise.

You can’t transcend what you refuse to feel.
You can’t transform what you’ve only renamed.
Healing isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about being honest.

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My personal story (from homeless to home-free)

I’ve spoken about this before, but I want to bring it here again because it perfectly illustrates what repeating patterns look like—only now, I’m meeting it at a deeper level.

My deepest pain? Home.

There was a time I was homeless – literally. I was kicked out of homes. Betrayed by people I trusted. Left with nothing, again and again. We went through robberies, lost all our possessions—sometimes stolen, sometimes forced out of our hands. And through all that, one prayer rose above the chaos: I just want a home. I just want somewhere safe to live – something that feels like home.

The Starseeds longing for home

Can you see why this has become the heart of my teaching?

Because the yearning that so many spiritual warriors feel—the longing for love, peace, and a place of belonging—isn’t just personal. It’s universal. It’s not really about a place at all. It’s about returning to a state of wholeness, of harmony. And not to escape earth—but to bring that state here.

My lesson has been to master home in the most human way.

Even building our current home brought its own lessons. We saved for years, only to be scammed by not one but two builders. I won’t go into all the details, but it was betrayal after betrayal, disappointment after disappointment. I wanted to give up. At one point, I told my husband, “Just sell the damn house, I don’t want to move in, I don’t even want to step my foot on the property.” But we pushed through. He carried the dream when I couldn’t. And now, here we are—moved in at last. Except… as this dream becomes real, the political unrest in our country rises. And we’re asking ourselves, “Do we even stay?”

Do you see the pattern?

The test came again, but so did the growth

It’s still home. Still that wound. Still that test. But it’s not the same. It’s just deeper.
Because now I don’t feel like I’m being chased out. I feel like I’m being asked to rise.
Because here’s what I know –

You’re here to master your pain

The thing you’ve battled most in life?
That’s the very thing you came here to master.

I came here to master home in the body. And let me tell you, I’ve been through every layer of it. Homelessness. Betrayal. Loss. And perhaps the most painful of all—watching the man I love, my husband Bryant, almost slip through my fingers under the weight of it all.

But that’s when I discovered something profound. Love is home.

I don’t need a roof to know where I belong. I would walk through fire with this man. Anywhere, anytime. That, right there, was the healing of all healings.
Wherever love is, I am home. Wherever my family is, I am home.

From “Will I Be Chased Out?” to “How Good Can This Get?”

So now, here we are – living in the home we built after so much struggle. And just as we settle, the country trembles with political unrest. And again, the question comes: Do we stay? Do we go? We don’t have the answers yet. All I know is… it’s the same lesson. Just a deeper layer.

But this time, I’m not afraid. I’m not asking, “Who’s going to chase me out next?”
I’m asking, “How good can this get?”

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The path of mastery

Because when you know the thing you’re here to master –
When you finally stop resisting it –
It becomes the very thing that births your power.

So let me say this:

Own your healing journey.

Wear it. Walk with it. Don’t shrink from it.

No one gets to tell you you’re not healed enough. Let them try—I don’t believe it for a moment. Because every one of us is here mastering something sacred. And no one else can walk that path but you.

This journey? It’s mine to live. And I’m living it with devotion, with integrity, with reverence. I’m watching the miracles unfold—not because it’s easy, but because I said yes.

A question to crack you open

So I ask you this:

What are you mastering?
What if that wound, that recurring pain you carry—what if it isn’t a failure, but a doorway?
What if it’s the exact thing your soul came here to transform?

Let that question crack you open.

And let it remind you—
You didn’t come here to escape this world.
You came here to bring home here.
Not as a place, but as a state of being. A vibration of unity. A frequency of God.

You are not broken. You are becoming.

So when the pattern shows up again, don’t collapse.
Rise.

And if you need support in stepping out of the 1% – out of the mental loops and into the energetic truth of who you are – that’s why I created the Plasma Light Tribe. If that level of depth is calling you, you know where to find me.

But for now, this is what I want you to know:

Final words from my heart

I see you.
I honour you.
I celebrate the one-of-a-kind miracle that is your journey.

You’re still here—and you’re here for a reason.
You’ve walked through so much. And you’re still walking.

From my heart to yours
I love you. Deeply.
And I hope you can feel it.

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