You Can’t Learn to Swim
by Journalling About the Ocean
Klicken Sie hier für die deutsche Version
Stop Being Spiritual in the Head
Most people never realise that the mind, no matter how spiritual it tries to be, can only describe the journey, but it can’t take you there. You can write about the ocean, chart its tides and name its colours, but at some point, the page must end, and your being must begin. Healing doesn’t happen in the words; it happens in the waves that move through you when you finally stop analysing and start feeling.
Stepping Out of the Head Isn’t Losing Control – It’s Finding Power
The scariest part of healing isn’t what you’ll feel – it’s what you’ll lose: control. The kind of control that allows you the illusion of having it all together. The kind of control that prevents things creeping up to the surface, to be seen, acknowledged and truly met. We’ve grown up in a world that prides itself on creating adults who are suppressed and seemingly composed.
When we don’t face what’s authentically being experienced under the surface of our control, we also lose contact with the very current of life that has always wanted to move through us. We don’t meet our power, and we don’t meet ourselves.
You’re either in control or in power; you can’t be in both.
When you live in the mind, you live from control. You can label, predict, analyse, explain, but you can’t transform. Because transformation isn’t logical, it’s alchemical.
Transformation is something the mind can comprehend, but it can’t create. The mind can simulate change, like swapping outfits inside the same wardrobe, but it can’t take you beyond the frequency that wardrobe exists in. The brain can offer change within the field, but not evolution beyond it. True healing isn’t a change of outfit; it’s a return to your cosmic form. And for that level of transformation, you have to reach into the realm of energy, and that’s not the domain of the brain, but of the being.
It is your energy that transforms and the brain that understands the transformation. Relegated to the false matrix, which is a mental realm, we’ve been living under the misapprehension that the brain is an initiator of reality, but it is an interpreter, not an originator. It chooses from available scripts that exist inside of the false matrix. Never venturing beyond, because it can’t. It’s not designed to.
While the brain can predict and design realities, the true impetus that births a new, luminous reality comes from the moments when we can drop beneath the brain’s chatter, beneath thought, into the formless pulse of the universe, alive with creative potential.
Stepping out of your head feels like freefall only because your mind has convinced you it’s the one holding you together. The truth is, it’s the one holding you back.
The moment you surrender control, you don’t dissolve – you expand.
Every time I talk about this, someone insists that thoughts are the most powerful force in the universe. Thoughts are powerful. But they are only powerful in one place, the mental realm. I am not here to redecorate the prison of the false matrix, but to show you how to transcend it. That means it’s time to get multidimensional, powerful, out of linearity, into totality. Put that another way, it means that it’s time to stop controlling everything with the mind, especially your healing and spiritual journey.
The mind is not going to give you passage out of the false matrix because it cannot – only you can. The real you is not a thought, although the real you can think. The real you is not a mental construct, although you currently find yourself in one. The real you is a reality field directly connected to God-Source-Consciousness and as such, you are energy. Long before words, you are the being behind them. Access that being and the keys to the Universe are yours.
The Myth of the Healing Journal
When you start any kind of inner journey, one of the first things people tell you to do is buy a journal. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Writing helps you see what’s been hidden. It gives shape to the unseen.
But if you believe that analysis is the healing – that by writing everything down, dissecting it, and understanding it, you’ll finally be free – then you’re looking in the wrong place.
It’s a bit like trying to count the grains of sugar in your coffee, imagining that once you understand exactly how many there are, you’ll finally stop craving sweetness. You won’t. You’ll stop taking sugar when the craving itself dissolves.
You can analyse the habit, track it, name it, and even will yourself to change it, but that’s control, not transformation. Control can work for a while, but it burns through energy you can’t sustain. And sooner or later, that control snaps.
Real change happens when the energy underneath the craving shifts. When you no longer need the sugar because the part of you that was reaching for it has been met, felt, and integrated. There’s no willpower involved then. No suppression. Just alignment.
A journal can help you see the pattern. But seeing isn’t the same as healing.
The journal is the handle – not the suitcase.
Why Analysis Isn’t Healing
When something goes wrong in life, the first thing most of us do is ask why. Why did this happen? What does it mean? We analyse, we connect dots, we trace patterns, as though life has handed us an exam paper and if we can just work out the correct answers, we’ll pass the test and be granted our healing. But it doesn’t work like that, because analysis is not healing. It is logic, and logic belongs to the linear mind. No amount of reasoning can untangle an energetic knot; no amount of mental pattern recognition can dissolve what was never born in thought to begin with.
It’s subtle, the way this control lives in us. So woven into the fabric of society that we hardly notice it anymore. When something painful happens, most people respond by asking, Why did that happen? rather than saying, I see that this happened. How can I hold you through it? The first question traps you in the head; the second invites you back to the heart. One demands understanding; the other offers presence.
That’s why you can describe your pattern in exquisite detail, know it better than any expert alive, and still find yourself circling the same ache. Healing does not come from logic. Healing comes from immersion. It comes from allowing yourself to drop into the field of healing that already exists within you, even if you don’t yet know what that means.
That field is the living presence of your own consciousness. It’s the part of you that breathes and remembers long before words arrive, the part that feels what the mind tries to name. When you connect with that field, when you soften into it and let it show you what it knows, you enter the current of alchemy. This is what sacred neutrality really is; meeting what hurts without trying to fix it, control it, or make sense of it. Simply allowing it to be witnessed in the light of your awareness.
That seeing is what transforms.
Someone else might never be able to explain their pain. They may not have the faintest idea why they feel what they feel. Yet one day, they fall to their knees, they let the emotion move, and something breaks open that was never broken at all – and they are free.
Why? Because healing does not happen in the head. It is an energetic, alchemical experience. The head can understand it, but it cannot facilitate it, because it was never designed to.
The mind wants to chart the ocean. The body wants to swim in it. Only one of those will carry you home.
You Can’t Swim from the Shore
You can journal your heart out from the shoreline. You can sit safely on the sand, watching the tides rise and fall, studying every ripple of emotion as if observation alone will teach you how to swim. You can write about the ocean’s rhythm, describe its colour, try to capture its mystery in words, and it will make you feel as though you’re doing something. And you are, you’re learning the language of the sea, but you’re not yet in it.
There comes a point in every inner journey where the pages can no longer hold what’s moving through you. The pen begins to hesitate because what you’re really writing about is asking to be lived, not analysed. That’s the moment the ocean starts calling you closer, not to watch it, not to study it, but to enter it.
And that’s where most people freeze. The mind wants to keep writing, to stay in control, to understand every current before stepping in. But the ocean doesn’t work like that. You don’t understand a wave by theorising about its height or its power; you understand it when it lifts you off your feet and shows you what surrender feels like.
You have to put the book down. You have to walk straight into the water, let the coolness take your breath, let the waves crash where they will. You won’t know why the wave hit you, but you won’t care, you’ll be too busy living, not thinking how to live.
This is the point where intellect bows to experience, where thought becomes sensation, and the self you’ve been writing about finally becomes the self you remember. You can’t learn to swim by journalling about the ocean. You learn to swim when you surrender to it, when you stop trying to understand life and start letting it touch you.
That’s what real healing asks of you. Not another entry in the notebook, not another map of meaning, but a plunge into the unknown, into the body, into the moment, into the raw, unfiltered now.
Healing Begins Where Thought Ends
When thought simply runs out of road and you’ve tried to think your way to peace, reason your way to clarity, and analyse your way to healing, it’s time to stop. You will sense that there is a depth that the mind cannot reach, and when you finally arrive there, you will know it. It feels like nothingness at first, like a void you can’t quite name. The mind calls it confusion, because it cannot comprehend what it cannot control. This is the quantum field, welcome home.
You are meant to meet the silence that presents itself to you, this is where the healing begins. This is where life has been leading you, and the more you try to think your way through it, the more lost you will feel. Don’t fight against it. Don’t rush to fill it. Be with it. Let the stillness hold you the way the cosmic ocean holds the swimmer who finally stops struggling.
Healing begins in that space – the moment when you stop asking for explanations and start feeling for truth. It doesn’t speak in words; it hums through your whole being. The body understands it, the breath carries it, and the energy field around you reorganises itself in response to it. That is the language of healing.
This is where the journal, the stories, and the reasons all fall away, because they were only ever maps meant to bring you here. You are no longer describing the ocean from the shore; you are feeling its current through every cell. You’re not observing the movement of life; you’re inside it, and you can feel its intelligence moving you.
In this space, there is nothing to fix, nothing to force, and nothing to prove. Only sensation. Only awareness. Only the tender recognition that what you thought needed healing was never broken, only forgotten.
Escaping the Mental Matrix
If you’ve reached this point in your journey, you’ve probably filled pages upon pages trying to understand yourself. You’ve written the same truth a hundred different ways, convinced that if you could just capture the right sentence, everything would finally make sense. There’s nothing wrong with that. The journal is not the enemy; it’s been your companion, your confessional, and your witness.
But a journal is not meant to be a cage for your thoughts. It’s meant to be a doorway through them.
If you find yourself writing the same truths again and again, that’s your cue, the mind has gone as far as it can, you’re not journalling to discover anymore, you’re journalling to stay safe. You’re writing about the wave instead of letting it touch you. That’s what the mental matrix was designed to do – offer you the illusion of healing, and the seeming safety of control, while keeping you stuck in your own head.
If you’ve kept a journal, honour it. Keep it close, not as a fortress but as a bridge. Let it be where your awareness begins, not where it ends. The words you’ve written were never wasted. They were ripples on the surface that led you to the deep.
Now it’s time to close the page, feel the salt air on your skin, and step into the water of your own becoming.
Feeling: The Doorway to Power
Once you step out of the mind’s loops and into the body, everything changes. It isn’t comfortable at first. You’ve been trained to control, to rationalise, to make sense of things before allowing them to move through you. But the moment you stop controlling, you start feeling, and that’s when real power begins to rise.
Feeling is not weakness, it is voltage. It’s the current of life moving through your system, clearing the debris of what was never truly yours. Every emotion you’ve tried to outrun, whether grief, anger, fear or despair, has only ever been an energy waiting for permission to move. When you let yourself feel, you become that permission.
The reason feelings matter is because energy doesn’t disappear when you ignore it; it condenses. Unfelt emotions congeal into stuck energy, and that stuck energy becomes what we call emotional blockages. They can live as pain in the body, tension in the chest, or the repetition of old emotional patterns that seem to have no end. We are energy, and when we meet energy as energy, without resistance, we can finally resolve the congestion.
Yes, it can feel messy. There will be days when it feels like too much, when your chest burns and your throat tightens and the body trembles under the weight of what it’s releasing. Don’t turn away. This is not a breakdown. This is energy unravelling the places where you once had to hold yourself together.
You can’t fight the wave and float at the same time. The more you try to manage your emotions, the more they pull at you. But when you soften, when you breathe, when you stop trying to categorise what you feel as good or bad, the wave begins to hold you, not drown you, that is the nature of the cosmic sea you are a part of.
This is where healing becomes embodiment, when what you’ve understood in your mind finally translates into lived experience. Feeling is how light enters density. It’s how spirit becomes form.
Let the wave move through you. Let it speak the language your mind forgot. You don’t have to understand it. You only have to allow it.
Returning from the Ocean
The pages and thoughts that once held your questions were never wasted; they carried your consciousness as far as words could go. But now, instead of writing to find yourself, you write to remember.
And somewhere in that remembering, I can almost hear myself saying what I always say inside the Plasma Light Tribe: stop being spiritual in the head. It’s the moment someone asks, “Why do I feel this way, Kerry?” or “What does this mean, Kerry?” and the only true answer left is to drop the analysis, drop the performance, and get real.
You won’t find polished perfection there, but you’ll find truth. You’ll see me blunder, flounder, laugh, cry, and mic drop my way through the realness of being human, not to show you how to be me, but to remind you how to be you. Because realness is contagious.
That’s what we do inside the Tribe. We feel. We remember. We stop analysing our awakening and start living it. You’ll hear those familiar words again, drop out of the head and into the field, and this time you’ll know what they mean, not because I told you, but because something in you begins to move.
If you’re ready to stop trying to understand your awakening and start embodying it, this is your next step.
You are made of light and you exist beyond intellect. You are not here to understand yourself; you are here to remember yourself. And remembrance begins the moment you feel what the mind cannot hold.
Peace is not what happens when everything is resolved. Peace is what rises when you stop fighting yourself. It is the afterglow of surrender, the still point between waves where you realise you no longer need to swim to stay afloat.
And when you return from that ocean, alive and shimmering, heart pounding, salt on your skin, you realise the waves were never against you. They were teaching you how to breathe, how to trust, how to be carried.
This is the part of the path no one can take for you, but it is also the part where you finally remember who you are, and I’m here for that.
