Devotion
My husband is totally devoted to me, and a lot of people say that I’m lucky. It’s not luck.
I’m just as devoted to him; we’ve always been this way with each other except our devotion has grown over the years and for that reason I keep being stunned at how much deeper our love grows and heals us and all who come into contact with us.
He has the kindest eyes, the sharpest wit, the most wisdom, compassion and insight in any human being I’ve ever known. He is my angel and I’ve often shared that it’s because of this divine man that I am able to do the work that I do.
Sweet devotion.
Here’s why it’s not luck though.
After a string of very failed relationships … please note my use of the words “very failed” … as in, these were no mere flops, these were pro-events, expert-of-the-highest-magnitude type of flops. I decided that the thing that was wrong in my relationships was simple, and it turns out I was 100% right.
The thing that was wrong was me … take a breath and read on …
… it was me not being devoted to myself but expecting someone else to be
… it was me expecting someone else to meet me where I had not yet met myself
… it was me, unknowingly, hiding away from love
I wasn’t blaming myself; I was taking responsibility so that I did not become a victim of my own poor choices. Instead, I became powerful. I decided to stop trying to heal through an external loving relationship and see what an internal loving relationship could do. I knew it was going to take devotion and that I’d be tempted to throw the towel in and opt for the instant gratification of an external love, but I’d been through enough hurt to understand that love could not stay until I learned to stay in love and face myself. Once I figured that out, I was free to just be with me and I did that fully.
I started feeling really happy in my devotion, even though it took massive commitment and dedication, it led me to the healing I had craved. Today, I teach people how to walk that journey of devotion with themselves and it’s because I walked my journey that I can walk them through theirs.
Something that held me back:
I was afraid that in becoming the one to meet my needs and being devoted to me, that I would never find someone else to do it. I imagined that I’d be losing out on the fairy tale of having prince charming be the one to heal the wounds. Now that I say that out loud it sounds as silly as it is. I want to shake that version of me and say hey Kerry wake-up! You’re not going to miss out on someone else being devoted to you, you’re going to amplify your devotion by allowing someone to meet you where you currently reside. And if you reside in self-honouring, self-love, self-contentment, self-sourcing, self-devotion then you’re making room for someone to meet you there and actually make that healing bigger … you see sweet Kerry, your healing takes nothing away from you ever, it only adds to you.
READY TO ENTER YOUR SACRED HEALING SPACE?
Roll this question over in your mind:
Are you devoted to your healing?
Here’s another question for you to ponder:
Are you devoted to you?
Because I’ll tell you what I’ve seen in my practice as a spiritual teacher. I see people walk right up to the front door of healing and then make a U-turn and walk themselves out.
And when they do, they’re walking out on themselves. I could cry when I see it happen and I know that I can’t shake them by the shoulders and beg them not abandon themselves, because I cannot interfere with their free will. So, I’m leaving this with you here and now … for when you need it.
Don’t walk out on yourself.
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Become devoted to you
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Face the lowest versions of you so that you can face the highest.
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Meet yourself the way you want a partner to meet you. With love, patience and commitment to your growth.
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Meeting your own needs, does not mean that others will not. It means others will have something to amplify.
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Be there for you. On the good days, and the bad.
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Create room for your growth, sometimes it gets ugly and you need to get triggered and still come back for more.
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Be authentic with yourself so that you know how to be authentic with a partner and have an authentic self to present them with.
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Be uncomfortable and still love yourself. Instead of walking away, walk towards and through, whatever has been holding you back.
Stay.
It’s the one thing I asked Bryant when I first said yes to our relationship over 12 years ago. I said to him please don’t leave me and he replied, I am right here. I know that it was a silly thing but only a girl whose heart has been torn in pieces would ever be insecure enough to say to someone please stay, but I was showing him my sore spot because I’d experienced a father leaving me when I was very little and all I wanted was a love that stayed. I knew that to honour our pact that we made to each other in that moment, that I needed to stay with me and never run away from me like those before me had done. I stayed with me. I am so proud of both of us … and of you … for deciding to stay the course.
IT’S TIME TO GET DEVOTED TO YOU – JOIN ME HERE
Spiritual work is often difficult, confrontational, and uncomfortable.
So what?
Stay!
Don’t put a foot in the door and walk out, step on in and claim the prize – that’s you.
Face the darkness! If spiritual work wasn’t confrontational, difficult and uncomfortable then I’d say you’re doing it wrong!
You (the healed and whole version) are the grand prize you get at the end of it all and it’s a prize you truly don’t want to miss out on.
Hello dear Kerry,
Thank you as always for your wisdom, humor and wonderful way of communicating in the way you do. I’ve been on the path for many years and am recently let go of my marriage meeting my needs and becoming devoted to myself and my path. As these energetic shifts occur, is it possible for soul contracts/relational dynamics to shift ultimately meeting each other on a different more unconditional platform? I’m guessing it’s up to the souls involved but curious your viewpoint on this? With love and gratitude, lyn
hi Lyn, you’re right they can shift and right again, it’s up to the individuals involved. I’m finding that people are being given a choice to be together now, rather than having to be together because a contract says so. That’s empowering, liberating and the beginning of true love.
Good morning Kerry ☀️
I read your Devotion from start to finish. How very beautiful.
I have to say, you and Bryant look so very similar to me. Apart from the hairlines! But so similar.
I think you are just wonderful, Kerry. I could watch you speaking for hours. And I do!
Thanks for all your guidance Kerry. Thank you Thank you Thank you! So much love ❤️
You are so very welcome and thank you for sharing your love with me xx
I.appreciate that the UNIVERSE has again gave me another to GUIDE me to me!! . . . . . I for the sake of my only offspring to show us once in my LIFE how to treat ourselves like GODDESS’. . . . . Many ETERNSL BLESSINGS to your shine!! 🙌 🙏 ✨️
Such a beautiful and inspirational story. I am taking all of these nuggets that you shared to heart. This blog was definitely divinely timed for me. Thank you for sharing this sweet love story. He does have the kindest eyes and face, so happy you found each other.
Very beautiful Kerry and inspiring for me. I’ve been single for six years and celibate for five years. I’ve been in such devotion to my own healing and spiritual path. Deep down I know I am meant for sacred relationship with another but the longer I am alone, the more difficult it is to feel that he actually exists. I’ll continue on the path of loving myself fully in the meantime! Thank you!
Thank you for being open with your own healing path, to help us find peace within. I’ve been by myself for 3 and a half years now and have finally become quite at ease with not needing a man to dote on or to feel validated as a loving being. I now realise that it is truly important to recognise that I am enough. I have only reached this point by going through tremendous grief from my old self. So, relating back to your current Instagram post on what we are grateful for that we did not receive, I can now say that I am thankful for not finding a partner to cover up or mask my own necessary healing. I see that now. I would have sent out the wrong vibrations and attracted the matching type of guy that would not have been good for my much needed healing. I may have only attracted someone that also needed to heal. Living with ourselves first is a must. I am grateful that I have had sacred support from a beautiful soul sister that calls me every week for two years, to guide me on this difficult human journey to where I am now. Guidance is important. I am also grateful to you, Kerry. My healing brought your soul into my life too. Regarding romantic relationships, I used to always say that I had so much love to give and how that was a waste. Indeed not, I just didn’t realise at the time, that that love was always meant to give to myself first and foremost. It matters not, whether I will meet a man that matches my more healed energy. I now understand the saying, ‘I am enough’. Writing this, feels cathartic. Thank you.
And yes, I too, can see the kindness in your husbands’ eyes. 🙏🏾
Dear Kerry, thanks for sharing your beautiful story and wish you a lot of happiness may your marriage continue to flourish for long time. We celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary. A wonderful marriage and despite the 19 year difference between us it works great. We always tried to leave space for each other and since we are artists our interests are the same.What we have observed is that in recent years TELEPATHY works more and more often wit us. Best wishes ❤️ Krisztina
I love what you say!
I’m 84 and widowed twice…experiencing loneliness at times….
Trusting…knowing I’m getting closer to the end myself. But before I get there…I want to be as prepared as I can be for whatever is coming….New Earth , crossing the veil….???
In the meantime….i want to be of service…which I am as a Death doula…and a support to my little family who do not subscribe to my beliefs…
Challenges continue into elderhood….
Thank you for sharing this, Kerry.
I have been alone, working on myself, since I walked out of a 15 year relationship in the summer of 2020. I didn’t feel loved or respected anymore, so I chose me.
I too have wondered if becoming everything I need would prevent me from finding someone to share a true and honouring love with.
You have given me new hope.